Boy, did we do some stupid things as kids. Everybody says that, but no, really.
Jumping off roofs, BB gun fights, jumping out of trees, jumping our bikes off ramps – there was a lot of jumping. There were no helmets, and there was a lot of pain.
My friend Nate once skateboarded off the roof of my house, breaking his arm. Another time, we’d built a ramp at the far end of his driveway and took turns jumping it. Our buddy Jason wanted to get a good head of steam, so he started in the road, but when he turned into the driveway he hit a patch of loose gravel and went sliding like a motorbike racer.
Jason decided to go home.
When I was 7 or 8, I was rolling full tilt down my street when a school bus stopped in front of me. Being the idiot I am, I swerved around its left side – and nearly destroyed my neighbor, who was just walking out from in front of the bus.
My friends and I once grabbed chunks of loose asphalt and threw them at each other. I was running away from one of my friends, but he bonked me right atop the head from a good 30 yards. Great throw, to be honest.
I once touched an electric fence just to see how it felt.
I’ve fallen off the backs of several four-wheelers.
I’ve taken a whiffle ball bat upside the head, and that hurts even worse than you’d think.
But all of my misadventures pale in comparison to something I read on Twitter the other day. It was a thread of people giving examples of the crazy things they did as children. This stuff is gold.
• “We picked the tar off of our concrete streets and tried to chew it like gum.”
• “As a kid I found a rusty razor blade lying in the street and didn’t believe all the hype about how sharp they were so I did the obvious thing – I ran it down my whole finger. In the ER it occurred to me that I maybe could have tried it on a piece of paper instead.”
• “Me and my cousin tried to run through a wooden fence to leave an outline like Bugs Bunny. … It did not work.”
• “We used to play a game called ‘gauntlet’ where the neighborhood kids would line up on each side of the street and throw rocks and sticks at you and your bike tires to try to get you to crash.”
• “One snow storm my sister and I super glued our feet together. It did not end well.”
• “When I was a kid we would find dead pieces of bamboo – always full of ants – and fling ants at each other.”
• “We made napalm on a hot plate and tested it on a bully’s hood.”
• “At my uncle’s, we used to swing from the hay loft over the tops of the cows in the barn and try to land on their backs.”
• “We thought it was fun to see how far we could fly off the hood of a car when whatever crazy older kid we hung out with hit the brakes.”
• “Kid I knew was sitting on the front of the hood of a car when the driver stopped short. Car had a hood ornament. Later he went on to adopt a couple of kids.”
Yeah, after reading these, my childhood was actually pretty tame. Feel like I missed out.
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April 03, 2022 at 12:00PM
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Oh, the stupid (but fun) things we did as children - Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal
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